i HATE the entire male domination.

seriously.

'nuf said.

my attendence at school is redundant, so i've decided not to attend school altogether. all i do is either read, spout nonsense, sleep and play. so, i'd rather catch up on my sleep. ((:

and well, i would save money as well as not having the temptation to go out.

and, for your information, i am NOT rich. ((:

at school today, i got called up by mr rahmat and i'd thought i'd done something real bad, but instead, i was called to do this dumb "quality of school survey" which has questions like "do you like going to school?" and "do you like your teachers?" and stuff like that. and, to make things worse, not only is this my second bloody time taking the test, but, i had to take it with me being the only well-educated educated express student in a sea of "dumbwitslian//bengpeoplewhocan'tspeakasentenceofdecentenglish" and think that "diao-ing" is a fun way to pass time. ard they laugh at the slightest thing. in a very irritating laughter, mind you. imagine my agony.

anyways, after another boring day of school, caleen, natalin and i were off to parkway yet again. we went to macs to have a late lunch and then off to the library and to parkway again for dinner. man, i love the conversations we have. all the trash talking and stuff. really entertaining. i haven't laughed so much for so long. my cheeks and stomach hurt real bad. haha.

which started all on the topics of ahlians and ahbengs, no offence though. but, what we said really was positively hilarious. and, yes, it did bring me back to the time at jac's party in 2004, but, what to do? what's done is done. ((:

and, in the end they really did break up right? okay, i really shouldn't be saying stuff like that anymore. to them, there's no such thing as the freedom of speech. well, they just wanna find trouble for themselves, and well, confidence i guess. but, why does their confidence only come in groups, why not fly solo? i don't get it. maybe they're just cowards. but, i heard tonnes of stories today of all the dumb things they do, i was like, "WHAT?". anyways, yes, natalin, if she does come running after me, i will run, just cause i don't wanna be sit upon. she'll flatten me. hurhur. ((:

anyways, there was much more that i can't remeber right now, but, it was off to the library to continue our crappy conversations, which i can't remember a single thing said now for some particular reason. but, it was really, really funny, the librarian had to come up to us to shh us, but, i cleary remember it was something dirrty. haha. but, with caleen and natalin, it's kinda expected, ain't it. haha.

anyways, it was off to the playgrounf where we had a blast making fools out of ourselves. too-too-train and all. all hte kids were really cute. haha.

anyways, yes, memories are all around us, and yes, i'll remeber you all in all those different places. ((:

natalin, you're really great to be with. you always crack me up with your wierd enthics and unique view on things. i'll know where to go when i need some crap in my life. HAHA. ((:

and, prom IS over rated.
i somehow don't feel like going altogether.

stand inside your love.

Who wouldn't be the one you love and live for
Who wouldn't stand inside your love and die for
Who wouldn't be the one you love

this very old, old, song has been on repeat on my ipod. haha. love the drumwork. anyways, everyone should illegal download get the single.

it has been a real fun two days. [i hear you guys laughing at my willpower, or lack thereof] but, it's just heartbreaking. some stuff, that is. and, no, nothing of that sort. but, for example, my results, so on and so forth. the lack of faith and believe. the hypocrisy of it all, of me that is.

anyways, the past two days, has been fun and enjoyable. monday at kallang kfc, going completely nuts, and, you know, you guys should really stop playing with your saliva, it's rude. not to mention disgusting, especially when the saliva-d bubbles burst on me, natalin and meiwen. Hmm, talk about mature. haha. Anyways, all the nonsensical chatter of all things senseless, well, maybe not all senseless, the chicken, bandito, cheesefries-d flavored pepsi , the banging of heads against the bus-stop-roof, the three bears, dancing to that cute Korean lullaby, which is still stuck in my head, thanks to you guys, and all that what nots.

Then today, after the a math test, which was the June 2006 o’ level paper , which was super easy by the way. So much easier than the math-crazed-slave-driver-chua set for us for prelims. If that was really o level standard, I think, it would be pretty much safe. But, I shall not be complacent. Oh yeah, and I hate chemistry. Anyways, we went off to Jack’s place, my first time there, if you can believe it.

Well, to come to think of it, yeah, you can actually believe it.

Anyways, it was a very, very “mature” time spent there you guys. Well, even though the food…, well, I shall not go into the food, but, at least I had great company. ((: anyways, after that, we went sweet hunting, it was very unethical what you did with the gummies caleen, haha. And, it was off to the library, again. And, I was stopped to do this very retarded and redundant survey, which took, too long if you asked me. Street surveys are supposed to be shot darlings, or else, it would waste too much time. Anyways, what is ginvera? I had no idea. It appeared all over the survey. But, I did get the gist it’s some kind of soap brand, is it? And, I know, I’m really sounding bimbotic now, forgive me.

Anyways, I thank you, caleen, for the long talk we had as well as you accompanying me throughout the LONG wait for that darn bus thirtytwo. But, it’s the only bus that stops right by my house, so I don’t needa walk that much.

So what, I'm a lil lazy;

Bite me.

back in the game.

thanks MUHD, for a great time yesterday night at Sahara; boat quay. which, caleen misinformed me to be clarke quay, where we were headed at first. well, the mistake was mine for actually trusting caleen in directions in the first place. haha.

we went totally bonkers with the wild dancing, good music, pool-ing and the sheesha. you made me fall in love arabian food. haha. it kinda taste like indian ain't it? and, how can i forget the thumb game. you guys made me look ridiculous with all the eyeliner drawn all over my face. well, at least i had ade and eka with me as well. it was nuts and i had fun. especially the hot girl outside. haha.

then, as the others went for supper, mz, caleen and i, were at OCBC bank waiting to get home. i think i quite liked the quiet time where we talked, talked and talked. well, isn't that what girls' do best? we can't live that down can't we? and yes, we all just want someone to be there, don't we? maybe my definition slightly differs from you guys' maybe, a little more than slightly, but, whatev.

anyways, i hope you had fun too muhd, and enjoy the pink bra that caleen and i gave you. brilliant wasn't it? it was my idea, caleen just paid for it. hurhur. oh yeah, i hope you're able to read what i wrote. i just realised that writing on bras is not an easy feat.

and, for those who have the pictures, I WANT.

before that, in school, i have to thanks steven, for that marvelous word game that he introduced to us to pass the time. i had a great laugh. and all that bullshit. there's no such thing as a mad dog; i think. haha. all the screaming and such.

-

i had the wierdest dream ever last night. i dreamt of miss chua. but, with better fashion sense. as well as caleen. in this futuristic school or work place of some sort. with wonderful bathrooms; if that made any sense. i remember that wherever the place was, they had put us up in rooms. and due to being busted from stealing, i think, we were being let go, and i remember being relieved cause i could get back to my caucasian WIFE. [?!?] wth. and, i'm not going to go in to the other details.

-

pictures.

the bra, birthday boy and i.


and yes, i know i look like a total dork here.


eka and i.


mwen and i.


martin and i.




that was before.


and this was after we were done with him.




ade and i. afterwards. i look positively ridiculous.

i totally was not into it. you could tell, couldn't you.

the girls and i.

happy birthday muhd. thanks for an amazing night. and, yes, it was the best party yet in Singapore. ((:

loves.

perfection is just transitory.

I was late to school today, and, I had Caleen as my partner. Hurhur. And, I had to run with bloody stomach cramps. Imagine my agony.

-

Ooh, how I hate my results. Damnit. I don’t think I would wanna do that three months thingy in junior college.

Anyways, after this week, I’m really going to concentrate on my studies, and start studying for real. No more of that last minute shit. And, those who don’t believe me can just bugger off.

-

Today was real fun, after school that is. Caleen, Natalin and I, together with Leslie, Desmond and Jacky went for a late lunch at this place along East Coast Road, I forgot what the restaurant was called, my the chicken this was like super hard and fried, and the strawberry thing tasted like blended strawberry jam with yakult, and it had that sticky after taste. But, the guys were really funny, and Desmond was such a dork! Haha. Dang cute I tell you.

After that, Caleen, Natalin and I, took a walk to the library, with many, many detours. Haha. What would be a fifteen minute walk turned to a two hour walk. We stopped at parkway to get Muhammad’s birthday present, and then went to get bubbles to satisfy our inner child as well as Caleen’s deprived childhood. As we walked, we blew bubbles and Caleen chased them like a five year old. Haha. Hilarious I tell you! Then, we went to the playground to play. Hurhur. We did the monkey bars and the workout place there. We were deliriously happy and dizzy from all the turns, twists and hanging upside down. We had a blast!

Sweaty, dirty and wet, we went to the library. It looks like we are making a habit of going to the library all grimy and grubby. Anyways, we went to get more books, I really need to catch up on my reading; my speed has definitely slowed down.

My mother’s on one of her ever so constant rampages again. I fear that she wouldn’t allow me to go out tomorrow. She’d better. My last few days to go out! And, you guys out there, please don’t be cynical of my will power. I can do this, I can and I will.

-

Can I actually forgive them? I really do feel weird with them, all the small talk and stuff, it’s getting harder and harder to pretend. It feels so strange sitting next to them, I just feel like such a hypocrite. There’s really not much difference with then and now. As if all that energy was wasted. It’s heartbreaking. And, the best thing, the one thing that made me laugh, was that, the next day, my mother literally bought me candy[?!], as though it would make all things wrong right again. As if, that was all it took for everything to be alright, as if to buy my forgiveness and to relief her guilt. I’m no longer five, mother, neither am I your little girl anymore. I’m no longer innocent, am not that gullible and definitely cannot be bought over by a couple bars of chocolate. And you know what? The same thing happened with a good friend of mine on the same day. But, the only difference was that she had gotten a Chloe bag instead.

-

It feels weird, her hand covering mine, as though nothing had happened. I just wanted to get away; I looked at her hand as if it was diseased. I really want everything to be okay, but, somehow, I cannot overlook your imperfections as I did before.

-

photos tomorow. i'm currently very lazy.

picadilly circus, bananaisms and transverse waves.

PRELIMS END TODAY!
i think the caps show how happy i am. haha.

and, thank you, thank you my darlings, for such a wonderful day today. full of non-stop chatter, the bitching, the swinging, monopoly, movies, nerding, eating, kaya, skipping, gelare, camwhoring, reminicing, and all the laughing, screaming, dancing and fooling around, and who could forget the spanking. haha.

it was a wonderful day, it was real nice for all of us to get together again after such a long time. i really miss those times, and please, stop worrying about your results, you'll do fine. the playground was fun,especially the swing part, where it almost came off it's hinges, squeezing into that tiny little place and all that what nots.

i haven't have such a good time in such a long time, i don't think i've ever laughed so much. it was really needed, considering. high on laughter, if there ever was such a thing.

anyways, speaking of gelare, JUNE WHERE ARE YOU? i'm missing our gelare days! and, yes, missing you too. as well as all that devious planning and the bitching. haha.

and good god, felicity's nerd friend, you better watch out! you will never know who is lurking in the shadows behind you. watching your every move and making a shrine out of your used mukified tissues and banana peels. hurhur.

and, yes, he's such an arse. yes, i know. i can't believe what he did, it is an absolutely childish, retarded and stupid thing to do. and what the hell's up with the baddie and the victim? wth. what are we? sevenyearolds? and, the repetitive word: irony. hello? the english language is so profound, and that's the only word you know how to use? i'm not saying that i don't use some words repetitively, that i'm definitely guilty of, ie: retarded and wierd has been a constant in my vocabulary nowadays for some reason. anyways, the posts were so long, and kinda crappy as well as onesided, if i do say so myself, and you acused others of being onesided, do i smell the irony and hypocrasy? anyways, enough of this.

and, well, every place has memories; old, new, good and bad. treasure them, and please, don't be afraid to revisit. as well as make new memories. and girl, you can't be afraid of the good old times haunting you when you revisit. it'll just makes things much worse than it really is. don't be frightened to make new memories, it's only natural.

i take that from experience, so, believe me.

xoxo.

hate mondays.

mondays just screws me up. i can't even think properly. all the wasted energy of waking up earlier than my sister [fivefortyfiveam mind you] and then argueing with her on who should use the bathrooms first. getting her out of the room, so that i can change in peace, so on and so forth, just to catch the bus so i won't be late for school, and suddenly it hits me, i only need to be in school at ninethirty cause my paper starts at ten. and, like the cherry on top, i was only two bus stops away from school. you can imagine my irritation, together with cramps, it's not such a pretty sight. anyways, hectically called caleen, who i know, just like me, woke up early, so off we went to meet up, at kallang mac's to have breakfast and to do some last minute practising. caleen, you jolly well must thank me, or else, you'll be like huiwen today, the only other person from fourEA to be in school. hurhur.

oh yeah, and the coffee at mac's suck. a vile cup of awful, cheap tasting coffee. okay, i admit, when it comes to fandb, i'm very choosy. deal with it.

you know what, the mac's brings back tonnes of memories. ((:

Highly irritate
Looking like shit
Extreme mood swings
Breakouts
Fatigue

gees, i sure do love periods.

worst.

i have to entertain tonnes of people later tonight for a party.

i'm so going to enjoy myself.

guys get it so damn easy.

utterly disgusted.

today was fun. and the amath paper was difficult, but easy for miss chua's standard.

anyways, after that, natalin, alicia, caleen, felicity and i went to the parkway for lunch. had a fantastic time. all the laughs and such. thanks you guys. ((:

anyways, after that, it was off to the library. the journey they was extremely fun. playing in the rain and all. haha. it got heavier then expected and we got pelted by large, heavy raindrops, and we were drenched to the underwear. super uncomfortable i tell you. we were practically dripping. anyways, i just didn't like the aftermath.

first off, when we were waiting for natalin and fel who were taking their own sweet time, strolling under the comforts of umbrella. and natalin, i'm sorry for making you wet. hurhur. anyways, there we were, alicia and i, sqeezing out wet uniforms. and yes, due to the lousy quality of our uniforms, the blouse was see through. and there was this plump guy, looking at us in that way. i felt severely violated. the thing is, he still dared to come up to us and say:

"do you guys need a place to dry off?"

i swear, that was the exact words he said.

i felt like kicking him in the nuts right there and then. and, you know what, i wouldn't be surprised if he started jacking off right then and there. disgusting.

anyways, once we reached the library, we were cold, wet and dirty, and well, went to the bathroom, which was warm for some reason [which was good for us], and we started drying off, using the hand dryer, which was of no use, in the end, i decided to take off my uniform and sqeeze it dry. well, that was of no use in the end, the water was like trapped in the uniform. we spent half an hour warming ourselves before entering the library. which was where i almost suffered from hypothermia. i swear it was so cold. and my arse was wet, it didn't help that my underwear was wet either. but it's okay. high metabolic rate, can lose weight. hurhur. ((:

then, we went back home, for a long deserved hot shower. it felt so good. anyways, then we met back at my house for some movies and stuff, and i cooked sheppard's pie today for dinner. haha. so fun. ((:

-

i don't know what's wrong with me today. i just lost it. well, there's only so much one can take. after screaming and somehow hurting the only person i truly care for and it was the first time i talked back to my mother and shouted at her. and, the person i truly care for ain't her; so yeah. anyways, it's not a big deal to some, but hey, i am raised the right way. i have good manners. anyways, i started broking down, and yes, i'm semi alright now. still feeling a little down, but it's alright. thanks you guys. ((:

and thanks freda baby, for coming all the way to frankel just to help me with my biology. i love you. ((:
xoxo

--please God, take all this away, i don't know how much more of this i can take. i beg of you, please; make it go away. no more. please.

hate exams.

oooh, how i hate the exams. i've been such a muggertoad lately. well, maybe just yesterday night. i only had one and a half hours of sleep last night, and no, it wasn't all cause of studying. i couldn't sleep after i ended at twothirty and ended up watching this real awesome movie, dot the i. i absolutely adored it and loved how it ended. nice twist of things. haha. and, they managed to get away with murder. how cool is that? haha.

anyways. geography was good. i think it was quite okay, i guess. well, at least i didn't screw it up. math was the killer. i think it was the lack of sleep and nutrition. i couldn't even get my calculations right. i kept back tracking two to three times, and i still didn't get it right. it was so frustrating. and, i don't get it. and, the most dumbarsed thing of it all, without knowing it, i left a whole page blank. when i checked the paper with about a minute left, i was shocked to see that blank page. damnit. as you all could imagine, i panicked. and, with other questions which were so tough, i mean, what's up with the school? and all those decimals and stuff.

anyways, off to huiling's house for lunch and to study. was too tired, and steven and wileen kindly bought lunch for us all. thanks ((: then. couldn't study cause was too tired and her sister was getting on my nerves. it's like even tho she was like primary six, she had the mentality of a five year old. it was that bad, and was soooooooo irritating. and, i don't even think that a five year old behaves that bad! she was all whinny, tears and all, taking her sister's things and all that, hiding, screaming, "na na na na na" all that nonsense. and you know what? she even called caleen "fatty". i was like WTH? anyways, we couldn't take it no more, so off to the library it was. but, i felt like sleeping, so i went home. ((:

manda.

--i'm sorry.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY
HOTSTUFF!!

((:

hurhur.

i love you! ((:
and the crazy stuff that we always get into. forever baby. it has been a great seven years; and definitely more to come! remember : desperate housewives. haha.

i'm sorry i can't spend it with you today. you know why..

but, have a great day, and may all your wishes and dreams come true! ((:

--[okay, cliche, i know]

dang man, prelims start tomorrow. the worst part is social studies and pure chem on the same day. i'm going to die! a lil melodramatic, but, forgive me.

-

i have never questioned my abilities or do a double take before, so why start now?

fear.

GOSH! when do you actually see me fearing and stressing out for exams? never. and the worst part, i lost my drive. i can't seem to sit still and concentrate. but, thanks freda baby, for that long call last night. i know it cost you a pretty penny, but, it was worth it, right? anyways, you're coming back tomorrow!! I CAN'T WAIT!! i miss you so damn much. didn't spend as much time with you the last time as i wanted to. you know why. anyways, lunch tomorrow! ((:

anyways, i'm wondering whether i picked the right choice, subject combination that is. i have tonnes on my plate, and, i'm wondering whether i could actually handle all of that. i don't know. i'm scared. i really NEED TO get a grip.

the devil wears prada.

i went to watch the devil wears prada today at plaza singapura, after much stressful coordination. i am never going to coordinate such an outing every again. too much stress. and my mother called me at tuition today, and well, my tuition teacher heard everything. so damn embarassing. and she was like "i can hear you mom. so hysterical. i don't understand how you can have so much tolerance and patience." all i did was laugh. well, that is my dysfunctional family.

and you know what? my sister spilt molten cheese on my favourite mango top!

bloody hell.

and well, it was a shame that i couldn't go shopping today. haha.

anyways, the movie was quite entertaining, but extremely superficial. just what i needed. god. i love those shoes! and the trench coats. wearing trench coats in singapore, well, it would just be crazy and you would practically sweat to death. and well, die from heat stroke too. but the movie was generally nice, but why would she choose the simple life rather than the high paying glamourous job, getting free designer wear! i want that job! haha. i don't mind working in a magazine like Bazaar or ELLE, i really don't. i think i might consider.

oh, speaking of jobs, my uncle proposed a job to help me pass my time during the holidays. it's this stocks thing, gathering information and stuff. well, i gather it would be rather boring, and has crazy working hours, starting from sevenish. goodness! i'm not to sure whether i would take it or not. i'm thinking about it.

sorry for the sidetrack. anyways, after that was a big dinner at kallang airport hawker centre. we had a feast. bought many dishes and picked around. haha. i feel like such a pig now. i really need to go out and have a run. hmm, maybe tomorrow.

anyways, i forgot what i wanted to write.

i feel a photoblog coming up.

online shopping.

ooo, i just found out the perks of online shopping. slow i know, but shut up. ((: love guess. hmm, but having difficulty of choosing which colour of this really fantastic pair of shoes. it's either gold or maroon.

hotness. right? haha.

anyways, my brother's back from basic training for two weeks. damn.

no privacy and arguements.

and restricted computer time.

double damn.

but, i should be happy he is back, right?

love kills.

love kills.

cynical, she knows.

but it really does.

it slowly eats you from inside out; and leaves nothing behind.

-

cycling was really fun today. had a real great time.

and, thanks ade, for sending me out, and shah for "tompanging" me and well, not putting my life in danger. haha.

oh, there was this real hot caucasian guy.

hotness i tell you.

okay. since when do you see me swooning?

okay, enough of nonsense.

oh, i really wanna go overseas now. even tho there is no maids and such, i really wanna go overseas to study.

-

just caught the latest episode of antm. it's losing it's novelty and getting boring. there are only so few hot girls.

none worth to go gaga over.

dang man.

sorry for the very disjointed post.

not much time.

how much.

goodness. this is getting too much. from horrendous rumours of being a whore, to having countless boyfriends // boytoys that i didn't even know i had in the first place, and being in places that i've never been before and well, being at two places at once. how much can one take? i have people claiming they know me even tho i've never heard about or seen them before. oh yeah, the best yet. i have people claiming that they are me. how whacked out is that? and, now i have unknown people adding me online, who had gotten my email from people i don't even know. how bout that? goodness! and claiming that i added them? hello? i don't add people, thankyouverymuch.

i don't understand why people can't just lead their pathetic lives, without living through others? i really don't get it. maybe it's just me. so would someone shine some light, so that i will understand. and worse off, these people can't speak or actually write properly.

you know what?

maybe i should be flattered.

anyways, i'm off. cycling with mz and the rest.

bye!

goodness gracious me.

goodness. i definitely feel remotely dumb. i went to check out the IP address of one of my "loyal" readers, and i accidentally [yes, really] deleted everything, leaving only the ten older posts. bimbotic, i know. and no, i did not want to delete that post. free country remember? please, if you could have done any better, even tho you are a guy or a girl, be my guest. what i did i did for the fun of it. and well, you don't harm me with those trival words. it's kinda funny actually. haha. and, i'm sorry, but you do have to try much; much harder. oh yeah, thanks for reading! ((:

anyways, movie night was cancelled. postponed yet again. anyways, i am contented watching reruns of goodness gracious me. absolutely hilarious and very entertaining indeed. you guys should go watch it. haha.

and, sorry, timing's been real bad. haha. sorry, i can't come to the party tonight. have another one for me baby. loves. ((: